Make myself believe
by Shadow Of Castiel
Summary: Castiel and Dean take some time out and enjoy each other's company. Rated M for adult content. Dean/Castiel


**Author's Notes** - This fic is written by request of **MyFavouriteWinchester**, who wanted a song-fic based on "Fireflies" by Owl City. I hope this okey-dokey! Also lyrics included come from the song itself.

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**Make myself Believe**

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet Earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay_

_Awake when I'm asleep_

_'Cause everything is never as it seems_

_When I fall asleep_

The air was humid, hanging close and muggy to the ground, making breathing difficult. The scents of roses coiled through the air, thick, sweet, heavy, a beautiful scent that made Castiel smile with its simplicity. He stared unblinkingly at the roses, turned, when he heard Dean shift behind him.

The angel stared down at the hunter sprawled out upon the grass, small wildflowers clustered near to his head closing up for the evening. Dean yawned hugely, trying to draw oxygen into his lungs from the humidity, yawned again, green eyes blinking rapidly, and squinting up at the first spray of stars peppering the sky. Crinkles appeared at the corners of Dean's eyes, as a smile of surprised contentment crossed the hunter's face, nose wrinkling for a moment as a fly landed on the tip, making his freckles disappear for the briefest of moments.

Castiel also turned his gaze to the stars, intense blue gaze shifting to the sunset just showing through the closely packed trees surrounding them, lighting up the sky with intense hues of red, orange, yellow, lavender, purple, shot through with streaks of silver from the clouds. Everything looked different to the angel on the ground, more beautiful than it did when he looked down upon the Earth from Heaven. Even when he flew, he missed half of the beauty of Earth and sometimes he forgot just how perfect some places were.

"What are you thinking about, Cas?" Dean's gruff voice said, cutting through the air as he reached a hand out lazily towards his lover. "You're looking pretty serious over there, dude. Why don't ya come sit down?"

Castiel walked closer to Dean, sat beside his lover and tucked his tan coat primly around his body, slender hands fluttering over his clothes to arrange them around himself. He looked down at Dean beside him, saw that Dean's clothes were in typical disarray, shirt fanning out around his body, t shirt wrinkled and bunched on his abdomen, showing the barest scrap of skin dipping down into his jeans.

"You didn't answer my question, Cas," Dean prompted gently, tapping the angel's arm when it seemed as though all Castiel was going to do was stare at him. "You didn't tell me what you were thinking about.

"Sometimes, I just forget how perfect my Father's creations really are," Castiel said, turning his gaze to take in the clearing surrounding them, eyes settling on the first fireflies glowing in the humid air among the trees. "No one truly takes in their surroundings any more, all too intent on their daily lives to really appreciate God's wonders."

"Oh, jeez, you're not gonna start quoting from the Bible, are you?" Dean groaned, draping one hand over his eyes lazily.

"No, Dean, that won't be necessary," Castiel replied, although there was a warm hint of a smile in his voice.

"Good. I wasn't in the mood for all your angelic talk right now," Dean said, before reaching out a hand to lay his fingers on Castiel's forearm. "Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that in a funny way or nothing."

"No offense taken, Dean," Castiel replied, turning his ever patient gaze up to the skies, ripe lips pressed into a tight line as he stared towards Heaven.

"Why'd you bring me here, dude?" Dean asked, hoping for a change of subject, wondering if he'd caused Castiel to take offense after all, despite what the angel said.

"To show you a place where there's no wars, no demons, no more responsibilities. Some day, this is all you're gonna know. I just thought you'd want to see it before it happens, see just what you're fighting for," Castiel said, without looking at Dean. "There will be an end to the war, you know. There's hope, there always is."

"Dude, you sound as though you're not gonna be there when it's over," Dean said, finally sitting upright to stare into Castiel's face in horror. "Dude, look at me. Tell me you're gonna be there when it's over."

Castiel felt Dean's gentle fingers wrap around his chin, to turn his face to the hunter's. The tension, the almost fear that he'd detected in Dean's voice was evident in his green eyes, only there for the briefest of instants but there all the same. Castiel wasn't sure if Dean meant to show it, but if he did, then Castiel would be the only one to ever see the shifting emotions that went on inside Dean Winchester. The hunter seemed to lower his guard whenever he was with Castiel, no longer finding his attitude to be necessary around him when it was almost like a shield with everyone else, even his brother.

"Yes, Dean, I will be here, I will always be here, if you want me to be," Castiel replied, almost shyly, a slight stain of a blush creeping across his too pale cheeks for a moment.

"What are you talking about, Cas? Course I want you here. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't," Dean said, cupping the angel's cheek with one warm, slightly sweat dampened hand. "Cos what you're showing me here isn't enough. Sure it's nice, I guess, but it won't be the same without you, you know."

Castiel smiled, didn't know what to say to the hunter's heartfelt words, unused to Dean being so forthcoming with his thoughts, his feelings and wondered why he was being so easy with them now.

"Good. I was worried you wouldn't want me after all of this is over," and Castiel gestured out towards the world at large, one firefly coming over to alight on his outstretched finger for an instant. "This war won't last forever. The world will in some form or another. I will still be here. I can never go home."

"And if you could?" Dean asked, wondering what the angel was driving at.

"I wouldn't. My place is here and it always was from the moment I pulled you from Hell. Something happened, something changed when I branded you, like something was lost," and Castiel turned away.

"Please tell me that's a good thing," Dean said, voice tight with some emotion that Castiel couldn't immediately place.

Maybe it was guilt, maybe hope, maybe a combination of both mingled with fear.

"Trust me, it's good and it always was. Now I feel as though I have a purpose, a reason to be. I couldn't leave you, and I never will," Castiel assured him glancing back at Dean with an intense stare that told Dean he wasn't lying.

Dean knew that the angel wasn't even capable of lying and the concept of lying itself was so alien to him, it was refreshing for Dean to spend time with someone who couldn't lie.

"Good, 'cos I hate goodbyes. I didn't want to lose someone else I cared about," Dean said, voice sounding uncomfortable again as he confessed that much to the angel. "Not again. You're the last person I truly trust, the last person I know I can truly call my own."

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel said, with a smile, getting to the point of Dean's sentence when it seemed that Dean himself couldn't.

Dean's mouth snapped shut and he nodded firmly.

"Yeah, me too," he said, which was as good as an _I love you to Castiel. _

_The angel smiled, leant in and pressed his lips firmly to Dean's mouth, silken surfaces moving against Dean's firm lips, eliciting a surprised murmur of approval from the hunter's mouth. Dean threaded his fingers through Castiel's hair, rested against the nape of the angel's neck, tilted his head still further to the side to deepen the kiss and Castiel let him. _

_The sounds of the forest receded, leaving nothing but themselves in a circle of near perfect silence. The only sound to break it was the gentle noise of lips meeting and parting, and the odd, tender murmur of mutual love shared between them. The lights of the fireflies dimmed into insignificance around them, as the sun dipped lower towards the horizon, allowing more stars to pop into bright, twinkling life, a stark contrast to the warm friendly glow of the fireflies flying and zipping around them still. _

_Castiel felt Dean's hand slide from the back of his neck, dip down between his legs, to cup Castiel's partially erect dick with a warm touch. Dean didn't break the kiss, continued as he started to massage the angel's dick until he was fully erect, hard and aching in his pants. The angel moaned, his breathy exhalations soon swallowed by Dean, as the hunter gently took Castiel's hand, pressed his slender fingers against Dean's dick, which was already hard. _

_Castiel felt Dean encourage him to stroke the hunter through his jeans and he did, willingly, increasing his strokes and catching Dean's aroused noises in his mouth, plundering every last one of them with a skilful tongue. Dean finally broke the kiss, with Castiel's name cried out to the stars above, hips jerking into Castiel's palm eagerly. _

_Castiel kept his gaze intent on Dean's face, plump lips parted, tongue lapping out to stroke across his full bottom lip and catching every last taste of Dean upon them. He didn't protest when Dean pressed in close, stealing another fumbled kiss, open mouthed and messy, wet, tongues sloppy and perfect in each others mouths. The angel felt the undeniable pressure of Dean's hands, his body pressing against his shoulders and he laid down willingly, spreading his legs wide open to invite Dean in._

_He saw Dean stare at him, love in his eyes, tempered with lust as he stared at Castiel's erection bulging against his pants and the hunter shrugged from his shirt, his t shirt hastily. His skin gleamed in the fading light, glowing from the buzzing backwash of the fireflies surrounding them, strong body soon covering his with its gentle weight._

_Dean thrust his hips against Castiel, needing friction but needing to be inside him even more and he rolled away reluctantly once more. He unbuckled his jeans with fumbling fingers, cursing when his zip snagged and he almost popped it, before kicking his boots, his jeans free from his ankles. His boxers went the same way and the humid air was left to play across his aroused flesh, erect dick curling up towards his abdomen._

_He turned and saw that Castiel was flawlessly naked beside him, smaller frame seeming more fragile in the gloomy light, hard dick flushed and curling proudly upwards. Castiel smiled lazily, eyes half shut and lazy, hair slightly ruffled and shining with fireflies surrounding his head like a halo. _

_He looked beautiful, gentle, peaceful and laid bare for Dean. Dean could only stare, overwhelmed with the love he felt for Castiel, unmatched by anything he'd felt before, made stronger by the fact that he was the reason that the angel would stay on Earth after the war was over. Suddenly Dean felt like crying, undeserving of Castiel's untarnished love and undeniable devotion. Castiel tilted his head to the side, watching the tears suddenly flow down Dean's cheeks and he reached for his lover gently, wiped the tears away with inquisitive fingers._

"_What's the matter Dean? Why are you crying?" he asked, gruff voice gentle, loving, concerned. _

"_Nothing, Cas," Dean said, voice rough, broken, yet so undeniably happy, Castiel smiled. "Just everything - everything is perfect, you know? You are. I can't believe you'd stay on Earth for me, the only person I've ever wanted to stay with me, the only one I've truly loved. You know, I'd stay awake sometimes hoping you'd come? Hoping you'd visit me? You can't tell how happy I was when you did, how sad I felt when you didn't?"_

_Castiel smiled, bowed his head and looked up from beneath his eyebrows at the hunter._

"_That does sound like true love to me, Dean," Castiel observed. "Despite what you might think, you do deserve it, you know. Everyone deserves love. Even an angel like me. You were never far from my thoughts, ever, no matter where I was, where I went or what I did. Just so you know." _

_Dean's lips stuck out almost petulantly, unable to take any more and Castiel actually laughed, touched by the hunter's rare show of emotion. He leant in, pressed a kiss to Dean's firm mouth and smiled when Dean covered his body with his warm weight once more. Dean's hands pressed firmly at Castiel's sides, stroked downwards to caress his hips and a smile crossed his face when Castiel tilted his hips higher, inviting Dean in still further. _

_Dean settled in, fingers curving and curling round to cup Castiel's ass gently, all traces of tears now forgotten except for the sticky streaks still staining his cheeks. He felt Castiel's dick press against his abdomen, warm, wet and smearing pre-cum over his skin._

"_Cas," Dean hissed, breathless whimpers in the night._

_Castiel was ready, needy, encouraging him to penetrate him and Dean groaned, wanting to be inside his lover as soon as he could. Castiel smiled, took Dean's hand and pressed his fingers against Castiel's tight hole, already slick with lube. The angel watched as Dean turned a look of surprised astonishment onto him, eyebrows raised high above his pleased gaze._

"_You came prepared," Dean said, pleasure and approval coloring his voice into something warmer._

_Castiel nodded, wordlessly, lazily, eyes half closed and inviting. Dean smiled, lips parted as he sucked his fingers deep into his mouth. He spat into his palm next and smeared the saliva over his aching dick, before pressing the head against Castiel's slick hole._

_The angel whimpered when he felt Dean's dick start to ease into him, fingers scrabbling against the hunter's body and encouraging him past the initial burn of pain at the intrusion that rocked Castiel's body. Dean pressed in when he felt his lover's body relax until he was fully sheathed inside Castiel's snug channel. Castiel stared up at Dean, love shining in his eyes at the feel of his lover inside him, filling him, whimpering when Dean started to roll his hips languidly against his own, pleasured gasps falling past firm lips as Dean fucked gently into him. _

_Their bodies rose and fell slowly, languidly and their love making was gentle, tender, beautiful. The angel watched the play of light from the fireflies play across Dean's face, catching in his eyes and lighting them up as through from within. Dean's thrusts were purposeful, well measured and his moans of broken need rained down upon Castiel and were matched by the angel's ragged gasps and moans of equal love and desire._

_Castiel wrapped his hand around his dick and started touching himself, slender fingers stroking smoothly, firmly over his engorged flesh as he continued staring up at Dean. He felt his orgasm claim him, coil through him, and he didn't fight it. His back rose, arched and he released his come into his hand with thick spurts of his release, covering his lover's abdomen and his own with strands of his spend. Dean's name burst past his tight throat repeatedly, crooned into the night with gentle love, heavy need. _

_He watched as Dean's face went taut, his mouth agape and eyes mostly closed when the hunter came, released his spend deep into Castiel, and the angel's name was like a mantra on Dean's lips. Their hips continued to roll against each other's languidly, until they'd ridden the last of their orgasms out. Dean leant his forehead against Castiel's sweaty shoulder before he shifted slightly, soft member easing from Castiel's ass with the movement. _

_Castiel cradled Dean in his arms, pressing warm kisses to his lover's eyelids, to his mouth, every part of Dan's face that he could reach from that angle. Dean smiled, before claiming Castiel's mouth with his own, pressed a possessive kiss to Castiel's soft, sweet mouth gently. _

"_Cas," Dean finally said, breaking the silence between them with a barely murmured word._

"_Yes, Dean," Castiel replied, stroking his fingers through Dean's short hair and smiling softly into Dean's face._

"_Promise me you'll bring me back here one day, before the war is over," the hunter said. "I want to capture this night again."_

"_You can come here as many times as you want, Dean," Castiel replied, with a slow, assured nod. "All you have to do is ask."_

"_Good," Dean said, before resting his forehead against Castiel's shoulder once more._

_The angel smiled, when Dean's soft snores filled the air around them, chest rising and falling against the angel's own, warm body heavy and slack against his limbs. Castiel pressed a kiss to the top of Dean's head and cradled his body still further in his arms._

"_I love you, Dean Winchester," Castiel murmured into Dean's hair. "I will never leave you."_

_Even though there was no chance that Dean could hear his words in the deep embrace of sated sleep, Castiel imagined, briefly, that he did. He couldn't mistake the way that Dean snuggled still further into his body after his words and the contented sigh that broke past Dean's sleeping lips._

_Castiel smiled, unseen by anyone apart from the fireflies, enjoying the feel of contentment coursing through his body, with the knowledge that Dean was there, and always would be there. Moments of rare clarity were hard to come by, when Dean's true feelings were easily read, but when they happened, like tonight, they were there to be forever cherished by the angel. _

_On the surface, nothing was ever as it seemed, and that certainly held true for Dean Winchester. Castiel was glad that he was the one to figure that out, to love him for it, and be loved in return unconditionally. Castiel knew, without a doubt, that they'd survive the war and would remain by each other's side, their love constant, remaining and strong, them, ready to start afresh once more...._

_-fini-_


End file.
